Skip to main content

Countdown to Christmas 3 : Ha Ha!

 As we come close to the end of this Advent blog exploring all there is know about fruitcake, I felt there had to be at least one post sharing some of those terrible Christmas cracker jokes about fruitcake and some other forms of fruitcake humour. WARNING : Some of these jokes are pathetic!
These ones are especially for one of my grandsons ...
Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
A. Your teeth!
Q. What do crackers, nuts and fruitcake remind you of?
A. You !
Q. Why is History like a fruitcake?
A: It is full of dates!
Q. Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
A: Tarzipan!
 And if it couldn;t get any worse ....
Knock Knock
Who's there? 
Nettie
Nettie who? 
You're Nettie than a fruitcake!
 And here is
And here is a recipe to be enjoyed .... so much better when listened to, so click the link at the bottom of the recipe.
Christmas Rum Cake 
Ingredients : 
1 tsp sugar
1 or 2 quarts tum
1 cup dried fruit
brown sugar
1 tsp soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 cup baking powder
3 juiced lemons
1 cup nuts

Method :
Before starting sample the rum to check the quality. Good, isn't it? Now proceed
Select a large mixing bowl and measuring cups
Check the rum again. It must be just right, To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat ...
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add I seaspoon of thusar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open the second quart if necessary.
Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters , pry loose with a drewscriber.
Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity .
Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt - it really doesn't matter which.
Sample the rum
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped up butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find.
Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess in boven and ake.
Check rum again and bo to ged.
... Halpie Holiglaze Two Y'aa!

And here's the last .... Look at the world as a big fruitcake . It wouldn't be complete without a few nuts in it. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for reading my blog and please share your thoughts about my blog post by leaving a comment.Your comment won't appear immediately as comments are verified before publication in an effort to reduce the amount of spam appearing. Anonymous comments will not be published.

Popular posts from this blog

Bilby Infatuation

  Wrapped wire and fabric bilby sculpture : Wilma Simmons 2016  Over the years I have been fascinated with the plight of the bilby and it has inspired quite a few of my cloth creations... With long pinkish-coloured ears and silky, blue-grey fur, the Bilby has become Australia’s version of the Easter Bunny. Unlike the rabbit, bilby numbers are falling rapidly. There were originally two species but the Greater Bilby is now commonly referred to simply as ‘the Bilby’ as the Lesser Bilby (Macrotis leucura) is thought to have become extinct in the early 1950s... Bilbies are nocturnal, emerging after dark to forage for food. Using their long snouts, they dig out bulbs, tubers, spiders, termites, witchetty grubs and fungi. They use their tongues to lick up grass seeds. Bilbies have poor sight and rely on good hearing and a keen sense of smell. To minimise threats from predators they’ll mostly stay within 250m of their burrows, but sometimes roam further afield depending on the food...
1 comment
Read more

"Temari Or Not Temari?" Tutorial

 Background Information:  Temari (literally translated “hand ball”) is a Japanese folk craft that is alleged to have originated in China and was introduced to Japan five or six hundred years ago. Traditionally, the balls were constructed from wrapped kimono fabric remnants and silk threads. They were made by mothers and grandmothers for children to play with. Nowadays, decorative embroidered temari represent a highly valued and cherished gift symbolizing friendship and loyalty. Recently I've wondered if your don't use traditional techniques whether you should call what you create "temari". That is an ongoing debate but today I share what I do to make a "non-traditional temari".... 1.I start  with a polystrene ball ( traditionally the balls were wound  silk scraps or other organic materials) and begin to wrap with approx 4 ply wool, turning the ball as I wrap.  2. I then wrap another layer of wool in a similar fashion , this time a 3 or 2 ...
8 comments
Read more

Non-Committal Collage Anything Goes

Have you heard of non-committal collage?   I hadn't until one of the other participants of the 100 Day Project started doing this each day and showing the results....  Here are  Peggy's  rules :  1. S elect 9 scraps of paper from  collage  box/stash  2. Make three  different compositions using each scrap at least once.  (some pieces can be used more than once)  3. Do not alter the scraps of paper in any way.  4.Do not use glue.  5.Take photo, disassemble and return scraps to box.   I thought this would be a fun and quick exercise to do for Tag Tuesday's theme , Anything Goes... so here are my "non-committal collage" tags....  Did you spot the nine pieces? Would  you like to suggest some titles?   And I repeated the exercise before putting back the 9 scraps of paper, so these are different items.  Hope you will try this exercise -  it is lots of...
1 comment
Read more