Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Countdown to Christmas 3 : Ha Ha!

 As we come close to the end of this Advent blog exploring all there is know about fruitcake, I felt there had to be at least one post sharing some of those terrible Christmas cracker jokes about fruitcake and some other forms of fruitcake humour. WARNING : Some of these jokes are pathetic!
These ones are especially for one of my grandsons ...
Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
A. Your teeth!
Q. What do crackers, nuts and fruitcake remind you of?
A. You !
Q. Why is History like a fruitcake?
A: It is full of dates!
Q. Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
A: Tarzipan!
 And if it couldn;t get any worse ....
Knock Knock
Who's there? 
Nettie
Nettie who? 
You're Nettie than a fruitcake!
 And here is
And here is a recipe to be enjoyed .... so much better when listened to, so click the link at the bottom of the recipe.
Christmas Rum Cake 
Ingredients : 
1 tsp sugar
1 or 2 quarts tum
1 cup dried fruit
brown sugar
1 tsp soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 cup baking powder
3 juiced lemons
1 cup nuts

Method :
Before starting sample the rum to check the quality. Good, isn't it? Now proceed
Select a large mixing bowl and measuring cups
Check the rum again. It must be just right, To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat ...
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add I seaspoon of thusar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open the second quart if necessary.
Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters , pry loose with a drewscriber.
Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity .
Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt - it really doesn't matter which.
Sample the rum
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped up butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find.
Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess in boven and ake.
Check rum again and bo to ged.
... Halpie Holiglaze Two Y'aa!

And here's the last .... Look at the world as a big fruitcake . It wouldn't be complete without a few nuts in it.