Skip to main content

Countdown to Christmas 3 : Ha Ha!

 As we come close to the end of this Advent blog exploring all there is know about fruitcake, I felt there had to be at least one post sharing some of those terrible Christmas cracker jokes about fruitcake and some other forms of fruitcake humour. WARNING : Some of these jokes are pathetic!
These ones are especially for one of my grandsons ...
Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
A. Your teeth!
Q. What do crackers, nuts and fruitcake remind you of?
A. You !
Q. Why is History like a fruitcake?
A: It is full of dates!
Q. Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
A: Tarzipan!
 And if it couldn;t get any worse ....
Knock Knock
Who's there? 
Nettie
Nettie who? 
You're Nettie than a fruitcake!
 And here is
And here is a recipe to be enjoyed .... so much better when listened to, so click the link at the bottom of the recipe.
Christmas Rum Cake 
Ingredients : 
1 tsp sugar
1 or 2 quarts tum
1 cup dried fruit
brown sugar
1 tsp soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 cup baking powder
3 juiced lemons
1 cup nuts

Method :
Before starting sample the rum to check the quality. Good, isn't it? Now proceed
Select a large mixing bowl and measuring cups
Check the rum again. It must be just right, To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat ...
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add I seaspoon of thusar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open the second quart if necessary.
Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters , pry loose with a drewscriber.
Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity .
Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt - it really doesn't matter which.
Sample the rum
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped up butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find.
Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess in boven and ake.
Check rum again and bo to ged.
... Halpie Holiglaze Two Y'aa!

And here's the last .... Look at the world as a big fruitcake . It wouldn't be complete without a few nuts in it. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fish and Sticks : Art Dolls

This week I've been working on fish and sticks ....  The sticks are the message stick art dolls which were very popular, attracting some attention and a few orders at the Wise Women exhibition. Each of the message stick dolls are from the Wise Women series, each with her own personality and  message of wisdom, handwritten on a handmade timber tag. I gather the sticks during my walks around my neighbourhood and the tags are made from special bits of timber, some collected by me or  my husband or from off cuts gifted to us  from another doll making friend whose husband makes bagpipes. These dolls start off very simply with a wrap around a stick, in the general shape of a body. 'Naked" message stick dolls - strips of wadding wrapped around found sticks.   Then I usually wrap other layers of fabric, wool, and/or fibres, over which I do some simple embroidery. I sculpt  or mould small face masks for these dolls. I really like using "sari ribbon" as w...

#SeptTextileLove Day 12

  #SeptTextileLove #STL26Day12 ‘Friendship’ … This is a story of friendship based on the love of textiles and fibre art . Gallerist and artist, Anne Kempton and I have been friends for 15 years , meeting when we had both retired from ‘ top’ jobs in a government department and a high school respectively. Neither of us were the retiring types - Anne was establishing the first commercial textile art gallery in Australia and I was looking for a creative direction. We discovered we were both driven by a sense of social justice and community and shared similar artistic aspirations . Since then, we have co- curated exhibitions, collaborated on many projects. supported community art and women’s causes, and grown in our individual artistic expression - Anne includes more stitching in her work and she has had a more painterly influence on mine . Moreover, this friendship is multifaceted, deep and personal and one I value and treasure . Thank you, Anne.  

#SeptTextileLove26- Day 2

#STL26Day2 ‘Hand or Machine’ … Why not both? Two small stitched works in my stitched garden series, (left - free motion machine stitch ; right- hand stitch). Which do you prefer ?  #SeptTextileLove